It may be hard to believe it, but you don’t experience life as a continuous cycle of thoughts and emotions. You’re only aware of one emotion at a time. This is known as “polarization.
If youve had a bad day, you start to re-live it over and over again in your mind. You start to see your bad days as a recurring pattern, like a pattern of dots on a graph. It becomes a kind of mental chart, with each dot representing a time of your life when you were depressed. The number of dots on the graph represents the number of times, from one to ten, that you have experienced depression in your life.
The number of dots on a graph represents the number of times, from one to ten, that you have experienced depression.
I often try to visualize the number of heartbeats in a year on my phone because when I was depressed I would always see the little dots on the graph, which represented my depression, moving from one to ten. I felt as though I lived for a long time in a dark place.
Depression is, in a very real sense, a condition that can last for months and even years, but most of the time it’s something that takes people by surprise. When I’m depressed, I feel like I’m stuck in a dark room, with no light. I know this because it’s what I’m feeling right now.
When you’re depressed you have this sort of constant state of being stuck in a dark room. It makes it difficult to focus on things other than yourself, which makes it difficult to do anything else. You don’t have any friends, you can’t do these things you like to do, no one will talk to you, you get a headache for a few days, and you feel like a bag of rocks.
I had a friend once who went through a depression that lasted two years. That was before I even met him, and even though we still had that friendship at the end of the two years, I was the one who was depressed because I was so far away from even thinking about him.
This is similar to that friend. In fact, the whole reason I even started this blog is because I wanted my closest friends, and I was the one who never knew anything about them.
It’s the same thing with depression. At the end of the two years, I saw my friend and could never tell him what happened. I only knew how much he hurt me. By the end of the two years, I was still hurt. I got that way from the start. I’m a little sad because I was so far away from him even when we were together.
In 2010, I was a senior in high school, and I was doing a project on heartbeats and how fast they were. I came up with a formula for heartbeats that was easy to understand. It wasn’t as complicated as it sounds. When I looked up my heartbeats in a little book, I found in the section on “Circadian Rhythm” that my heart beats around 20,000 beats a day.